Still Chasing....Just not Blogging

I'm wondering how many people end up reading this. It's been almost one month since my last post. It's not that I haven't been Chasing the Whisper in life and ministry.....just haven't been blogging about it.

Actually....this blog was a Whisper I chased. I never saw myself as "a blogger", but decided I'd give it a try because of a phrase I sensed God Whispering to me...."impact beyond Sunday morning".

It provided a way to extend the potential impact of Crossbridge and my personal ministy off stage and beyond a Sunday morning teaching by simply processing my personal journey with God here, letting others in on the Whispers I was chasing.

At first I really enjoyed it, found it very helpful personally, and it seemed like those who were following it enjoyed the impact as well. But then the tyranny of the urgent seemed to take over and it was longer and longer between posts. And what good is following someone's blog....who rarely blogs? At times it's become another task to accomplish during a week instead of simply letting others in on the chase.

I don't know if anyone will even notice. I doubt that most Whisper Chasing Followers opened their inbox each week to see if a new Whisper was being chased. I don't think a blog's purpose is to have an "impact". But to me if it's just a place to process some thoughts....I can do that with a journal (no, not a diary).

So...for now anyway....I'm signing off.....from blogging that is.

I'm not done Chasing the Whisper.....just posting about it consistently.

From time to time I may put something out there....after all I still have the blog site and password. But on a consistent basis....for now...I'm going to chalk this one up to a Whisper Chased for a season.

Thanks for listening....or uh.....following, I guess is how real bloggers say it.

Just some stuff....

It’s my first day back in the office and already my day required me to hit the ground running. Many people return from a mission trip with a new sense of perspective on their life often vowing to make lasting changes like slowing down, being more content, shifting their priorities.

If that were my case, today really would have thrown me for a loop. My work day is almost over, and I feel like I’ve barely scratched the surface of what I really wanted to accomplish.

But the mission trip didn’t necessarily change my perspective on my life, or shift my priorities. It did, however, reinforce and tweak the direction I am already headed. For example, here’s just some stuff I brought back from Costa Rica with me....

• I should be bolder in sharing God’s with others. But relationships are still the key. God has given me good relationships with people who are far from Him right now. I can and should become more intentional in those relationships for God’s purposes.

• I am a Shepherd. But I’m a Shepherd Leader….or maybe it’s a Leader Shepherd. God has put me out front of the church….for the church….to be pointing the direction we as a church should be going as well as how we as Christ Followers should be going there.

• Sometimes the leader out front is the one that gets shot at the most, but that’s where God asks His Shepherd Leaders (or Leader Shepherds) to be.

• God can be trusted. One of the biggest concerns for Kim and I and this trip was how to make sure our daughter Taylor followed her rigid eating system a doctor designed to stabilize her immune system. There were meals I found myself silently praying; “God, please provide something Taylor can eat right now.” And each meal…even every snack….He provided something. Maybe not always what we would have chosen, but a meal or snack none the less.

This is just some stuff God did in me and around me over the last week. This wasn’t my first mission trip, so maybe that’s why it wasn’t a life altering experience. More like a life affirming experience for me. Don’t get me wrong. I think these trips are fantastic opportunities for us to experience God working in us and thru us.

But you don’t have to go to a foreign mission field to do that. Do you?

I saw people…friends…Crossbridgers having ah-ha experiences through the week. And as happy as I was for them, part of me couldn’t help but think; “That’s exactly the kind of stuff we’ve been talking about at C3 in our series…from the stage…in Small Groups.”

On one hand, I’m thrilled that thru a mission trip experience, some light bulbs turned on and perspectives were changed…or maybe simply re-inforced. And on the other hand, I want so badly for people…friends…Crossbridgers….myself included….to live our lives daily in a way that we are attentive and open to God’s promptings….His Pointings….His Whispers. And when we see it, even think we hear it, or definitely experience it…..that we embrace it and let it transform us more and more into who God is shaping us to be.

That’s just some stuff I brought back with me from Costa Rica.

Catching me on a day....

You’re catching me on a day where everything is going thru my mind…and then nothing is. All at the same time.

I’m watching my friends hurt for their hurting child.

I’m processing why someone just left Crossbridge.

I’m trying to live out rhythm and flow while life tries forcing a different beat and pulling me into its own current.

I’m trying to get “It” back. Felt like before vacation I was on a roll, but now I’m trying to get back in the groove.

And I’m trying to chase the Whisper in my life and as a pastor.

I’m not weary, we just got back from vacation.

I’m not scared, I know God is in control of everything. For real, those aren’t just empty words.

I’m not stressed, in fact I’m finding myself walking this differently (in a good way) than ever before.

You’re just catching me on a day…

On a day when everything…and nothing is going thru my mind.

Ever have a day like that?

Me too.

Running to listen....

As a pastor, alot of people get a view thru the window of my inner world and what God's doing in me. That's why I started blogging. This post I wanted you to hear from my favorite Whisper chaser on the planet. My best friend. For the last 20 years (this July) Kim's been chasing the Whisper with me....sometimes leading the way. God speaks thru Kim. He just does. That's why I'm so excited to see her on the journey she's taking....because I know God is going to Whisper to her....and then she's going to share that Whisper with me.

Enjoy.

Running to listen.....

I’ve known something for a very long time. Kind of a duh statement, but one I battle constantly. In order to hear God’s voice, I have to be in a place to listen. My life is too busy, some of it is just regular busy stuff, but other times I create more busyness then is necessary. I suffer from the need to constantly be doing. I will read my Bible and pray but don’t always quiet myself and slow down enough to block out the world around me. Because of this, sometimes I don’t hear God’s voice. I have to stop everything to hear the Whispers.

I get where I crave time to hear God’s voice and I can’t keep going until I get it. This happened a few weeks ago. I was contemplating a decision and wanted to hear what God had to say. God spoke very clearly to me telling me to go for it.

It was to run the Chicago Marathon.

But the bigger picture is what I heard next. God wants me to run it, not for a physical goal but a spiritual one. As I train I’m going to attempt to learn something. The topic: Why does God love me? Why does He want to spend time with me?

As I run by myself (or rather…with God) I’m listening, blocking out the world, stopping all things except Him and me.

I’ve already heard a few things, and am so excited to hear more. More Whispers, more “I love yous”, more time with Him.

I know this is a long journey. Longer than 26.2 miles. I’m not going to cross this finish line here on earth, but I’m going to take steps toward understanding it.

God loves me. Amazing.

15 minutes...

I’m a “list” person. I like “lists”. They help me think…..organize…..reflect….and get things done.

The other day I made a list of things God has been Whispering into my life for the last little while. It’s a legal pad that says….

….Grace – Gratitude – Blessing.
….Good Father – Good Gifts – Good God (not vengeful).
….Free from condemnation and guilt.
….Lostness – need for God.
….Judging others – self.

Most times I like crossing things off my lists more than I like putting them on it.

Not this time. This list wasn’t about crossing off. It was just some time with me and God. It had been a long couple days and I was in my car for another 15 mins. until the things of life recaptured my day.

But before life took over again, I got 15 Holy minutes with God.

That’s the only way I can describe them.

Holy.

Just moments. But God was there. His Presence. His Voice. His Whisper. And we talked. Just me and God. He let me talk the most….I think He knew I needed to get some things off my mind and heart (and He knows I’m a talker).

He just listened……and He Whispered.

I can’t tell you what He said.

Not because He told me not to.

But because I don’t really know. I don’t know that He really said anything. I just know that for about 15 mins…..God stopped whatever He was doing…..and hung out with me.

I can’t explain it….never can. Can’t explain that sense. The sense that God was there…that He is attentive to my heart.

I can’t explain it.....but I know.

And I loved every minute.

It's just where we are...

Although I’m in a teaching series about generosity, today’s Whisper chasing is not an extension of yesterday’s teaching…..it’s just where we are right now. It’s what life on the Whisper trail looks like for Kim and I.

We can’t get away from these four words: grace….generous….grateful….and trust.

I don’t know if it’s the questions….or maybe the answers these four words create that are causing so much refletion.

Why is God so generous to me?

What am I supposed to do with the overflow of His grace in my life?

If a generous heart is a reflection of a grateful heart….how grateful or I mean generous….or maybe I do mean grateful…..am I to God for His grace….I mean generosity….or maybe I do mean grace…..in my life? (Is that still a question or a statement now?!)

See what I mean? But we love it. It’s so cool I don’t know what to do with it…except chase it.

I can’t figure out where grace turns into generosity or is a result of gratefulness…..or where gratefulness spills over into grace which really is just another version of being generous.

I don’t know.

But I don’t really care either.

I just really like what it’s doing inside me…inside us. It’s released us in a new way. So new, I can’t explain it yet.

Whatever it’s inviting us to…we know it requires that we grow in our trust in God. Not sure where….not sure how…..but I’m convinced we can’t go wherever there is….without growing in trust.

We’ll see…..

Showing up...

I haven’t posted in almost a month. It’s not that God hasn’t been stirring things in me. In fact, part of why I haven’t posted anything is that I’ve been chasing so many Whispers that haven’t known what to write about. But if simply showing up really is half the battle…..here I am….sorry for the hiatus.

So here’s just a one of the Whispers I’ve been chasing…..Judging.

I’ve considered myself on a journey towards grace picking up pieces of the puzzle here and there intentionally for the last 15 years or so. But March 12th caught me by surprise while listening to a sermon by Rob Bell from Mars Hill called “Judging”.

The short version? I am different. Something changed that day.

I let go.

Grabbed hold.

Took a next step.

And came out transformed.

It’s totally changed the way I view others….and even myself. (Go listen for yourself….see if there’s a Whisper there for you to chase.)

As I took an inventory of this area in my life, it wasn’t pretty. But it was so beautiful. Know what I mean? One of those times you stare your “junk” in the face and while you’re repulsed by it, you can’t help but smile at the same time.

That’s the feeling of forgiveness……and freedom.

I realized how often I assign a judgment to other’s essence.

I characterize them.

Make a decision about their inner being and the motives of their heart.

It’s going beyond making a decision about an action. It's evaluating and drawing conclusions about who they are….their very identity.

In other words……I play God.

And to quote an old buddy of mine, that day it; "Hit me like a 2x4 in the face.”

How wrong it is. The Bible says that exposing hidden darkness and motives of one’s heart is God’s job…..not ours.

And I don’t want to be like that anymore.

In fact, I’m not that person anymore.

Not to say I am perfect at it now. Not to say the “junk” doesn’t try to resurface. But what I can say is….I am different now.

I came across a poem from a monk that has brought great peace in my pursuit of The Whisper. One line in particular encourages my spirit:

MY LORD GOD, I have no idea where I am going.
I do not see the road ahead of me.
I cannot know for certain where it will end.
Nor do I really know myself, and the fact that I think that I am following your will does not mean that I am actually doing so.
But I believe that the desire to please you does in fact please you.
And I hope I have that desire in all that I am doing.
I hope that I will never do anything apart from that desire.
And I know that if I do this you will lead me by the right road though I may know nothing about it.
Therefore will I trust you always though I may seem to be lost and in the shadow of death.
I will not fear, for you are ever with me, and you will never leave me to face my perils alone.

- Thomas Merton, "Thoughts in Solitude”

So….though I may stumble thru any next steps I’m trying to take with God…..I am trying.

And I believe that pleases Him.

See you next week…….hopefully.