Joy in the journey....

Over the last couple years, joy has been like a nice Indiana day in January, it comes and goes. I feel like a schmuck even writing that because our family has also been extremely blessed during this time as well. But there's been a constant battle in our lives to fight for joy.

Our family, friends, and fellow Crossbridgers know that for the last 2 1/2 yrs. our oldest daughter Taylor has been battling seizures. Medicine has helped at times to "manage" these episodes, however, they have really cramped the lifestyle of a teenage who just wants to be normal. The 10mth. period from Aug. '08 - May '09 was one of the most difficult stretches of life our family has ever experienced. During that time not only were we dealing with Taylor's health issues, but one of my brothers passed away unexpectedly at the age of 38. I know people say you get over stuff like thist, but honestly? Our family is still trying to recover from losing my dad nine years ago at the age of 61.

What I'm afraid of is that these life happenings have caused me to become cynical. What I mean, is whenever we walk thru difficult times, a well meaning friend shares a bible verse or encouraging word. On the outside I try to be gracious, while on the inside I want to ask if God has ever shaken their world like a snowglobe and placed it back on the mantle of life saying; "Okay, now deal with that." See, I know all those verses already. I've quoted them to others myself. It's easy to love, trust, and follow God when everything is going well. It's a different ball game when His plan is uncomfortable. When He is silent to our prayers. When His peace that surpasses all human understanding is fleeting at best, and seems non-existent at worst.

And so we've been trying to find joy in the journey. Not joy despite our circumstances. To tell you the truth, I've never understood that. Being joyful even though you are walking thru tough times. That actually makes me feel guilty. I'm human. When life is uncomfortable, I'm not happy about it. I'm not filled with joy about it.

But maybe I've been thinking of joy all wrong. A while back while God and I were talking, He redefined joy in my life. I was thinking about how when the disciples were beaten for their faith, the Bible says they went away rejoicing. In other words...they found a way to be fill with joy. How? After taking a beating upside the head? How do you find joy in that?

They didn't! They didn't find joy in the beating. They found joy in the purpose. I'm convinced their joy came because they knew they were part of God's purpose in this world. They were playing a part in God's story. And being part of the Divine Story Tellers purpose excited them.

They decided that being a part of the story God was writing was worth whatever they experienced.

Divinely inspired excitement. That's what joy has come to mean in my life lately. We're still walking thru the health struggles with Taylor, I miss both my dad and brother David, uncomfortable things will still come our way (as they will in each of our lives). But we're trying to find God's purpose.....the story He is writing.....and doing our best to find divinely inspired excitement.

What's a whisper?

Chasing the Whisper has led to amazing next steps in mine and my family's lives. The lure of the Whisper once pointed to China to complete our family. It hinted a career change was in the wind, eventually moving us to Crossbridge. It's appeal has motivated sacrifice to trade up, giving away something of lesser value, for something of greater value.

God's Whisper are those times you think God is speaking. Actually, when at best you have a hunch God might....possibly....be up to something....maybe. You're not sure, it's just your best guess.

Here's my theory about chasing the Whisper. I think we prefer God speak thru burning bushes like when He pointed Moses to lead God's people out of Egypt. When God "burning bushes" us, all the pressure is on Him because after all, "God 'told me' to go this direction. It's not my fault if things go bad." But when you're playing hunch, the pressure feels like it's all on you because who knows if it really was or wasn't God speaking?

In my experience chasing the Whisper, some aspects are becoming clearer:

• God doesn't expect perfection. I'm convinced that if our hearts are in the right place while seeking God's direction, we often put too much pressure on ourselves to not mees it up. God is in control and able to use even our mistakes for something good.

• God Whispers all the time. Whispers aren't just the big things God directs (ie. change in your career), it's those gentle promptings from inside leading us to make an encouraging phone call, take a risk, or explore a new biblical truth.

• God Whispers more than He burning bushes. At least in my life. I admit, I enjoy the burning bushes as much as the next person. The times I KNOW God has spoken. But I'm learning to love and enjoy chasing the Whisper just as much....if not even more.

Chasing the Whisper has led to much more inspired living on a daily basis because who knows, maybe today something stirs inside to venture across the globe to find your youngest daughter in China!